I really hate how they drag out the opening episodes. So, we get to see Des drive around in a new car they are letting her drive, and she's roller blading down the street. We need to see this, why? Now, she's sketching on the beach and going down a sliding board...wow...this is so cheesy! And from cheesy to crazy...she literally just screamed and chased after some seagulls on the beach.
Des sits down to talk to Chris before the guys show up. Cue "Cinderella" reference #2...blah! And it's time to get ready to meet the guys! Do we always see the lead getting dressed and doing their makeup? I don't think so...that's usually just at the end when the final 2 are getting ready. Wonder why they think we need to see that. Let's just see these guys already!
And here we go...
Video Intros
Bryden, 26, from Missoula: Iraqi war vet
Will, 28, from Chicago: banker who does sweaty yoga...gross; already shouted "I love this woman"--can we say psycho?
Drew, 27, from Scottsdale: digital marketing analyst; divorced parents, alcoholic dad and handicapped sister
Nick R, 26, from Chicago: sells suits and is also a professional magician--watch out for this guy, he could be sneaky; he also thinks Des could make a good assistant (if this is the only reason he's on the show, let's just cut him now)
Zak W, 31, from Mico: drilling fluid engineer--works in oil and gas; he gets bored a lot in the middle of nowhere and entertains himself by standing nude on his balcony?
Robert, 30, from Los Angeles: sign spinner/entrepreneur--he claims to have invented sign spinning...I'm not sure if I believe that; he's hoping to bring home a mom for his dog
Mike, 27, from Dallas: dental student; he's had so many jobs! His family is from England, but he lost his accent
Brandon, 26, from Costa Mesa: adrenaline junkie who likes to wake board all day long; his dad left his family when he was younger and his mother was an addict, so his grandparents raised him.
Limo #1
Drew--Can't believe this is happening, was happy to find out Des was the Bachelorette
Brooks, 28, Marketing Consultant from Salt Lake City--Very nervous, excited to talk to her inside; has what I like to call PPS, which stands for Painful Permanent Smile--this is basically when someone has a smile that never goes away and it looks like they are in pain...that was him; and can I say, this guy has some really crazy, greasy hair? Dude, really...
Brad, 27, Accountant from Denver--since she made a wish in the fountain the last time, he brought a wishbone for her to make a new wish
Bryden--Sean's loss is his gain...he hopes
Michael G, 33 Federal Prosecutor from Miami--takes her on a walk to the fountain, and he looks for her coin in the fountain from last time...looking...still looking...nothing (did he really think they wouldn't have cleaned the fountain since last time?) ; he gives her a new coin to make a new wish
Limo #2
Kasey, 29, Advertising Executive from San Luis Obispo--looked her up on social media; has some hash tags for her: #theperfectbachelorette #marriagematerial and #letthejourneybegin; can someone say "stalker"?
Will--"High five, I give hugs"...that was weird; nicknames her "Athena" because she has wisdom and outside beauty; he gives her homework--she has to think of one for him--dude, she just met you!
Mikey T, 30, Plumbing Contractor from Winfield--he comes from a close family and understands her relationship with her brother
Jonathan, 26, Lawyer from Hickory--brought a letter, which was supposed to be a Fantasy Suite card, complete with the "should you choose to forego your individual rooms, here's a room key to the Fantasy Suite" line...she's getting rightfully freaked out here--she says "no" because she's not that type of girl, and tells him to keep the key; he walks away sad...wow...that's definitely a first
Zak--he was nude on the balcony and now he's shirtless: "will you accept these abs?"...he literally said that! They are some nice abs, and she agreed.
James, 27, Advertising Executive from Chicago--he said that loyalty is love and that if they get married, he's going to grow old and get fat...wow, shouldn't lead with that
Larry 34, ER Doctor from Berkely--likes to dance so he teaches her how to roll into him, and then he attempts to dip her, and she stumbles and she either rips her dress or just gets caught on her dress, but either way--FAIL! "I'm sorry, you did great. I hope we get to dance again sometime soon."--Yeah, I don't think so buddy. And, this guy is 34, but with those nerdy glasses and hair, he looks like he's middle-aged.
Nick R--a rose made out of a napkin, lights it on fire which then turns into a real white rose...magic...of course
Zack K, 28, Book Publisher from Newport Beach--didn't want to be too fancy, so he wore sneakers
Diogo, 29, Ski Resort Manager from Lake Tahoe: aka her knight in shining armor, who can barely walk; he slowly says with a funny accent "you look beautiful like a princess, I am here to be your knight in shining armor." She thinks he's funny. I love the guys' faces when he walks in!
Limo #3
Chris, 27, Mortgage Broker from Seattle--has butterflies, but gets down on one knee and asks her if she minds if he ties his shoe...haha pretty good one!
Mike R--arrives in his dental coat as her McDreamy...another good one!
Robert--says he's not much of a tie guy, so takes off his tie...pretty lame
Juan Pablo, 31, former Pro Soccer Player from (Miami) Venezuela--she can't say his name, so he has to give her a lesson on how to say it--OK, seriously, how hard is it to say Juan? I hope she was just joking, but it got awkward when she didn't want to say it any more; he brings her some chocolate from his country
Brandon--arrives on his motorcycle
Limo #4
Brian, 29, Financial Advisor from Baltimore--he wore a soft jacket because he wears suits all the time
Micah, 32, Law Student from Denver--made his strange blue suit with strange letters on it, because she designed the red dress she wore on her season; the back of the suit said "Designed by this guy"
Nick M, 27, Investment Advisor from Charlotte--wrote her a poem
Dan, 30, Beverage Sales Director from Las Vegas--absolutely nothing memorable about their meeting...wow was that boring
Ben, 28, Entrepreneur from Dallas--we first see his son Brody come out of the limo holding a flower...how cute is that?! Then dad comes out and they are wearing matching suits...he's like a little Mini Me! Freakin' adorable, but kind of not sure if that's the best thing to do to a kid. He then takes Brody back to the limo to go home with Grandma, and he asks Ben "Did I do everything? I gave he the flower" and then he says "I wish I could go to the party, it would be fun." Oh my, so cute!
Cocktail Party--The Highlights
Kasey--"Hashtag: IWantARose"---#GettingOldReallyFast
Nick R--trick up his sleeve: he is going to make Des disappear for about 5 minutes...everyone boos
Brandon--steals Des from Nick, wants him to disappear; flipped a coin whether to go to his birthday party or go to the interview for the show. He then pulls out his Mom's sober coin and gives it to Des...she is supposed to give it back to her on his hometown date...that is risky, and don't see that working out very well, sorry Mom. He thinks he knows what he's feeling and he thinks he just met his future wife. Really dude? Wow.
Ben--he talks about Brody and says that he was never married, but had a kid with his best friend...that's a little strange. He likes to hunt, so he's already got an in with her dad. He ends up with the first First Impression Rose. I really like this guy, but we all know that it never works out for the person who gets the First Impression Rose (remember Tierra?).
The guys of course are now gunning for Ben, and Ben seems to be getting a little bit cocky now that he's safe.
Zak--strips out of the rest of his clothes and jumps into the pool; Kasey: "Hashtag: Shrinkage"...seriously Kasey...stop it now. And everyone just leaves Zak freezing in the pool...haha! He thought he was screwed, but he also gets a First Impression Rose. She didn't know where to put it, so it ended up on his belt.
Bryden--he talks about his best friend, his dog and also his time in Iraq. Cue the sad music, he talks about a kid that would come onto their base and he would talk to and he hopes he made a difference in his life...First Impression Rose.
Juan Pablo--of course he brought his soccer ball and he teaches her how to kick it. It then turns into a big game with everyone. She's pretty much in love with him for his accent alone. I'm not impressed.
Drew--He's really cute, but poor guy with butterflies and is so figity...but it works he gets a First Impression Rose.
Larry--This guy is just so weird. Not only did he fail at the first impression, but he just talks so creepily. When he talks I just feel so weird. He keeps taking his glasses off and on, and she asks if he's sleepy and he says, no, but he keeps worrying that he's going to mess things up. The whole one-on-one is just creepy and awkward. Yikes!
Jonathan aka "Fantasy Suite" guy--he's going to try one more time with the Fantasy Suite card. He does some push ups to get himself ready and he said he's a guy who makes big moves and he said he's going to try to kiss her on her mouth. Who talks like that? He could have just said he was going to kiss her. I love how creepy Larry says he's glad "Fantasy Suite" guy is around because he makes him feel a little bit better about himself. haha!
Jonathan just takes creepy to a whole different level. He says he's going to take her to the Fantasy Suite and she says "no" again. She says she'll sit next to him. So they start talking and he says he has no filter. Great. He says he's better than her last boyfriend, Sean, because he's more outgoing. Des just doesn't seem interested at all, and he can't take a hint. She wants to leave to go talk to other guys and he says she doesn't have to leave until someone comes and steals her away. She does let him walk her back inside. He says he just doesn't understand why she wouldn't want to go to the Fantasy Suite with him. What is wrong with this guy? Is he drunk? Is he high? Is he just that delusional? When he talks, there just seems to be something not quite all there.
Oh wait, he's not done yet! He starts talking about how his Mom thinks he's good looking and he has a "love tank" and it hasn't been depleted yet...what?? So, he comes and steals her away from some guy I don't remember his name, who had just gotten a First Impression Rose. He takes her hand and takes her away and you can tell that she is scared and really doesn't want to go with him. He tells her they are going to the Fantasy Suite and she says we are not going in there and she is getting uncomfortable. Kasey says he thinks he may have to jump in and save her: "#FantasySuiteFailJonathan. Then, shocker, she says she doesn't want to wait for the Rose Ceremony, she wants him to leave right away. "Well, goodbye", she said...haha! Good call, Des!
Rose Getters: *received First Impression Roses
Ben Scott*
Zak Waddell*
Bryden Vukasin*
Drew Kenney*
Michael Garofola*
Nick Mucci *
Brandon Andreen
Zack Kalter
Will Reese
Brooks Forester
Juan Pablo Galavis
Brad McKinzie
Kasey Stewart
James Case
Robert Graham
Brian Jarosinski
Dan Cox
Chris Siegfried
Mikey Tenerelli
Eliminated:
Jonathan Vollinger.Diogo Custodio
Nick Roy
Mike R.
Micah
Larry Burchett
Final Thoughts of the Departed:
Larry--It's embarrassing and he's disappointed; he took that risk of trying to dip her and make a big impression but it didn't go so well; he practiced dipping at least 50 times and of the 50 people he dipped, only a couple of them had problems...he seriously said that! What a dip!
Nick R--She made a mistake and they have a lot in common. They could have hit it off if he had the chance. She didn't get to see who he was. Ummm...yes she did...you were a joke.
Diogo--"I am completely lost. I really don't know what to do. I opened myself so much and I gave everything. I was willing to put on the suit and make a huge impression." So, he gave everything in what, maybe 15 minutes with her?
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