Monday, May 30, 2016

The Bachelorette, Ep. 12.2

To start off the episode, one of the guys says he thinks all the guys are great and no one is a real jerk. Oh, just you wait and see buddy. Cut to Chad making a toast that he rhymed: "To a beautiful girl and a beautiful life, f*** you guys, I'm gonna make her my wife." Definitely setting the tone for what is to come from Chad. He thinks he has no competition and can beat all of these guys at everything. He thinks that they have never dated someone of JoJo's caliber.

After the names are read for the first group date, he thinks this is JoJo's "B Team". Once she has a date with these losers and then goes on a date with him, she'll see how great he is and forget all about them. Later, he shows off in front of the guys by going outside and strapping his luggage onto his waist with a weight belt and proceeds to do chin-ups. While the group was on their date, the rest of the guys write a song for JoJo that basically was only just repeating her name over and over again. Chad thought it was kind of ridiculous that all the guys are so obsessed with JoJo already and he refused to participate. Chad and Daniel bond over thinking the same things about all these "nice guys".

Group Date: Luke, Grant, Will, Evan, Daniel, Vinny, Ali, James F., Wells, Robby - "Let's heat things up"


Cue a huge explosion out front...the limo is on fire! In pulls a fire truck with JoJo inside. She proceeds to use a fire hose to put out the fire in the limo. Lots of guys are getting hot and bothered at this point.

Evan calls the firefighters he sees "cadets". ??? They are going to be competing, and the top 3 will then go head-to-head for alone time with her. Does anyone else think - hmmm...this is totally rigged since Grant is a firefighter? Hello! They gear up and have to run with the fire hoses, break into things and use axes to chop wood.

Wells starts to look a little faint. One guy joked that his gear probably weighs more than he does. They finally pull him aside and strip off his gear. JoJo comes over to comfort him. He said it was all just an act to get her to talk to him. She said it was working. He feels pretty good for how things worked out, even if it was embarrassing.

Top 3: Luke, Grant, and Wells - because he didn't give up. They have to race with hoses to get up a building to save JoJo. It's Luke and Grant neck-and-neck. Grant was bound and determined not to lose this. Shocker - Grant made it up there first. Luke was pretty bummed. Grant got to carry JoJo back down to the ground and walk off with her right in front of all the other guys who all looked totally defeated.

We don't see any of their one-on-one time, except for later that night at the cocktail party. She was blown away by him and what he does every day. She said he completely surprised him and she was lucky to be there with him. They shared a pretty passionate make-out session.

Next, JoJo wanted to talk to Wells. She said he was a real trooper. He really played it up so well - it was really cute. She said he was so amazing and she was so impressed that he didn't give up. He joked that her definition of "amazing" is a little different than his. OK, so I'm really starting to like Wells - totally my kind of adorable guy. He brought pictures of his bloodhound to show her.

Snippets of conversations:
Vinny - they are both jokers; she warned him to watch out
Evan - he's the only one there with kids
Robby - she wants to be engaged more than anything

Luke couldn't wait for time with her. She asked how he was able to do so well in the competition. He said he was in the Army and went to West Point. She asked him about his past relationships. He said opening up and being vulnerable with some he is starting to have feelings for is amazing. He is ready to be open to what is next. He thought his time with her went very well. At first, I thought all he was going to get out of it was an awkward hug, but it turned into a kiss and it looked pretty amazing.

The group date rose goes to Wells because he stood out to her. Luke was bummed because he thought they had a pretty significant connection.

1-on-1 Date: Derek - "Love is full of choices."
He's "giddy like a schoolboy". She tells him that the date card was vague because they don't exactly know what they are going to be doing. They will be making choices along the way to decide.

1) Sky or sea - they both said "sky" and they go to a private jet
2) North or South - they choose "North"
3) Dressed up or dressed down - they choose "dressed down"
4) Golden Gate Bridge or Lombard Street - obviously they choose the "Golden Gate Bridge"

They end up with a picnic very near the Golden Gate bridge by the water. There are most definitely some sparks forming between them. They are super cute together.

On the evening portion of their date, she asked him about his last relationship. He said it ended a few years ago and it was hard for him to talk about. He said it's been tough to open himself up after that relationship. He finally opened up and said that he was ready to move forward and unfortunately there was someone else that came into the relationship...for her. JoJo said she could relate because of what happened with Ben. She feels a lot closer to him after that conversation and she thinks they have a lot in common. He got the rose.

Group Date: Jordan, Christian, Nick, James T., Alex, Chad - "Prove your love to me and your nation." That means that Brandon, James S., and Chase don't get a date this week.

They pull up to the ESPN studio and walk in on JoJo at the desk talking with the hosts of Sports Nation. They want to help JoJo and make sure that she picks the right guy.

Strike a Rose - they have to do their best touchdown dance with a giant rose.
There were some very creative dances, I must say.

Eye on the Prize - they will be twirled 10 times and then they have to end up on their knee with a ring and give their best proposal
All very funny and cute, but Chad's about to lose it. He thinks they are all not taking this thing seriously and their proposals aren't very real, and she clearly wants an engagement. The funny thing is, for his proposal, he just very bluntly and kind of angrily says "Will you marry me?". The hosts and JoJo kind of gave him a hard time and he said if they get to that point, she should already know all the things that he loves about her. She said she needs him to tell her all the things he loves about her. He responds by saying that she is starting off a little naggy. They guys were like "ooh". He said if he's being nagged, he's going to say something.

Press Conference - answering the tough questions
Chad is giving all the guys the look of death as they are in the hot seat. When asked who each of them thought JoJo shouldn't pick and who was being the "worst" (did they just make this question up on the spot after seeing his performance?) - all of the guys, of course, said Chad. He got perturbed because he was the only one being real.

JoJo was concerned about how rough everyone was being on Chad. She wonders if there is something that she should be worried about with him. His question was whether he could marry someone who was naggy. He responded by saying that he couldn't say all of the things he loves about her because he doesn't know yet. The other guys are just basically telling her things that they have studied about by watching her on TV. He said he knows she is beautiful and it's great that she's ready for a relationship because so is he. When asked who was not there for the right reasons, he said that all of the guys were not there for the right reasons. He said none of them know her yet and they can't all be in love with her already. He said if they do, what's to stop them from falling in love with the next girl that comes in. He wonders if any of them have ever seen a beautiful woman before. She said she appreciated his honesty. She actually likes that about him and the fact that he's not afraid to say what he's thinking. But, she's worried that he is openly showing that he doesn't get along with the rest of the guys and she wonders if what he's saying is just too much.

The hosts deliberate and decide how to rank the guys in a Power Ranking format. Chad thinks he's going to win because he's clearly the most honest.

Power Rankings:
1. James T.
2. Chad
3. Alex

Later, things escalate pretty quickly when Chad again says he was the only one who was honest. Jordan says you shouldn't bring up being "naggy" in a proposal. Chad thinks they are just not taking things seriously if they thought the whole proposal thing was meant to be a joke. Tensions are running high, and they still have a cocktail party to do.

First chat is with James T. She wanted to get to know the guy who ranked #1. He said he may not be an athlete, but he's got a big heart. He pulls out a list of things that he wrote about himself and about her - that he read to her. She loved it, I thought it was pretty corny.

Chad critiques each of the guys and how they are failing when they are talking to JoJo. He thinks they are all so childish and they don't have what she needs. She wants a man who is going to call it like it is and not kiss her ass constantly.

Chad got his time, and he talked about his joking about being naggy. He said he was worried the guys would take it too seriously. She asked about his previous relationships. His last one was quite awhile ago. She asked why and he said he has just been busy working. He talked about his little dog that he inherited from his mom, who passed away 6 months ago. He said the dog reminds him of his mom every day. They end their time by making a wish in the fountain, and then kissing.

The guys are all worried about Chad getting the rose. James T. said he would have to rethink his life if that happens. And the rose goes to...James T. She chose him because he made her feel really special. Chad was totally thinking it was going to be him...shocker. It makes no sense to him that she chose James because he is not going to be the one she will choose in the end. He doesn't know what else he could have done to get the rose.

Cocktail Party
Everyone wonders where Chad is. Well, he's waiting for JoJo outside as her limo pulls up. He said he needed some air because sitting with 20 people on the same couches all day gets a little old. He said they just hung out all day and he's not in a frat. He plants a kiss on her as they enter the house. Everyone's mouths hit the floor. They think that was totally sketchy. They didn't see the kiss, but him walking in with her was quite a surprise.

They're all like "what just happened?" They wondered how long he was with JoJo because he was missing for like 40 minutes. They pulled him aside and asked him what happened earlier. He said he needed some air. They wondered if he talked to JoJo. He said she came while he was getting "said air". He said he said "hey, what's up" and was being shady about how much time he got with her. They thought he was being sketchy. One of them said, "Winter is coming" (Game of Thrones reference). And at the same time...it starts snowing at the hands of Chase. He wanted to bring her a little bit of where he's from.

Meanwhile, Chad starts pigging out with a huge plate of food. Like huge. Vinny said he wasn't sure if Chad was there for love or for the free food. Haha! Luke said he would get an IV of meat if he could get one. James S. said that missing a meal can be detrimental to your progress when you look like him...but that's just what Chad told him, he wouldn't really know. LOL! These guys and their ITMs are hilarious! Grant thinks that Chad has eaten enough to feed a kindergarten class...maybe even 5th grade. Chad said walking through the house, he hears everyone talking about him. He hears his name in like every conversation. He thinks it's kind of funny.

Someone...not quite sure who it was, was outside with JoJo toilet papering the mansion. Yet another thing that Chad thinks is childish.

Chad interrupts Alex and wants to talk to JoJo. He said after the group date, he kept thinking about her. She says that he has so many different layers and it's kind of mysterious. She's just trying to figure him out.

The guys continue to talk about Chad. Him being there just takes time away from the rest of the guys. They said he is smiling and not taking things seriously. Their confrontation was pretty sad and they didn't really accomplish anything. Chad said it was like West Side Story. He said it was like the Carebears came and surrounded him. He said what they did didn't make sense and they didn't think ahead at what they wanted the outcome of the confrontation to be.

Chad decided to get in one last good conversation. He busts in on Evan's one-on-one. Evan enters the room of guys all dejected. He said he was having a great time with JoJo when Chad came in. They asked him if he thought of saying "no". He wished that he had. It made him so mad. Alex got upset at what happened, so he went to find Chad. He called him out for "snaking". He said she's probably getting creeped out by him. He said it's weird with him lurking around every corner and he should just let the guys do what they need to do. He told Chad where not to go and he turned around with blood in his eyes and got right in Alex's face. Chad told him if he keeps it up he's going to lose his teeth and he should be afraid of him. Alex said he is the most disrespectful guy in the house and he's just a meltdown.

Rose Ceremony:

Receive Roses (17): Alex, Ali, Chad, Chase, Christian, Daniel, Derek, Evan, Grant, James F., James T., Jordan, Luke, Nick, Robby, Vinny, Wells
Eliminated (3): Brandon, James S.,Will

I'm going to miss James S. for his colorful commentary and his over-the-top "Bachelor fan" enthusiasm :(

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