The Bachelorette, Ep. 8.7

Tonight, the suspense will be over: how will Emily react to the news that Arie and a producer had a relationship years ago, and how will Arie and the producer explain forgetting to mention this to Emily before now? Did the other producers have something to do with that to make things more dramatic? Methinks, yes. And, which guy is going to have the best quotes this week now that Ryan (aka "chocolate chip guy"...for you Amy) is gone.

The first one-on-one goes to Arie (for Amy: "the racecar driver"), as Emily tries to be a tour guide. Note to Emily: don't quit your day job. Again we see another cultural tradition as they rub 2 things on a statue: a lady so they'll be lucky in love, and a dog for loyalty. Can I just say that I think these stupid rituals on every date are getting really annoying?

So now on to the "secret". We see Cassie, the producer, interviewing Emily about the situation. Rightly so, the thing Emily is most upset about is that Arie didn't even give the impression that he knew Cassie. She didn't really care that they dated, she just wished that he would have said, "oh Cassie?, yeah, I know her." She wonders what else he might be hiding, if he was hiding something like that. Arie then begins to make himself look worse as he continues to say how trustworthy and honest he is, when she basically tries to force him into confessing. He almost comes clean about his secret, but this "secret" is that he had an ex's name tatooed on him. His defense was that he just didn't think it was that important, and Cassie said that she didn't want that to effect the way she saw Arie.

They finally talk it all out (off-screen), and apparently, all is good again. Arie then tells Emily that he loves her, making him the first guy to do so this season. Emily tells Arie that she has a surprise for him. Surprise! Fireworks! Really? There are fireworks practically on every date.  I thought it was hilarious to see Arie's reaction. He looked like he had just opened a present at Christmas and all he got was socks. He unconvincingly says "oh cool", but you could tell he was thinking "is that the best you could do." [Update, 6-26: I found it funny this morning on Chris Harrison's blog that he said the fireworks have become like a tradition. So, yeah, not so "surprising."]

Back at the house, Chris is moping and whining and driving the rest of the guys nuts. When the next date card arrives, Chris realizes that he doesn't get a one-on-one this week, and that really bums him out. Poor Chris...not! John get's the next one-on-one date, so the mystery man lucks out. It will be interesting to learn more about this guy. I don't think he's said more than 2 words on the show.

Time for John's one-on-one date. They show off their not-so-great artistic skills on the John Lennon Wall, and then their next stop, is yet another local tradition: a wall of locks to lock their love. Seriously? Can we just stop with all these local legends?  Next it's dinner in a dungeon.  Finally, we start to learn more about John. He had a girlfriend cheat on him 1 week after their 1 year anniversary. She basically disappeared and didn't answer any of his calls. He was finally told by the girl's sister, that she was cheating on him...bummer. John seems really sweet, but let's face it: in this marathon, he's got some miles to make up. He basically needs someone to take a wrong turn and get lost in the woods, for him to even have a shot.

As if getting a one-on-one wasn't bad enough, John returns from his date saying that it couldn't have gone better. Ha! Chris is such a Debbie Downer. You'd think he'd be happy to be going on a date and getting to spend time with Emily, even if it is with a couple of other guys. But, no, he only wants to find out why he didn't get a one-on-one.

After John and Emily's date, Sean decides that he needs to see Emily right away, so he goes looking for her outside, yelling her name up and down the streets. He finally catches up to her and you can tell that she is very excited to see him (who wouldn't be, right?). Was it just me or was she way more excited that Sean snuck out to see her than she was to see Arie when he did it last week?

Group date: Sean, Doug and Chris. Of course Chris is mad...still. 



Doug is the first to talk to Emily alone, and it was just plain awkward (as usual). He sits with his arms folded and leans away from her. When he accidentally touches her knee, he apologizes and loses his train of thought. That was really all that Emily needed to know. On their walk back, she tells him that she didn't think he was fighting for her, and he tries to save himself by kissing her...but it's too little too late. At this point, he's feeling better about things, but he doesn't realize she's sending him home...NOW! He was completely missing her signals. He said he was waiting for her to give the signal and she said she was waiting for him to kiss her. It's pretty clear that they were never on the same page. In the limo, he finally hit the nail on the head "I think my girl radar is broken." [Update, 6-26: Chris Harrison said the exact same thing on his blog this morning...how funny!]

So now the date is down to two, an awkward two. Chris should be happy because the guy who told him that at 25, he was too young, is gone.  But no, he's still mad. Indecisive Emily has the guys choose keys and whichever one opens the door gets to talk to her first. That was just pointless. Sean wins. Chris can't even win with a 50/50 chance. He must be the most unlucky person on this earth. So Sean gets his chance first, and they have a good time as always. Emily tells Sean that she woke up with a smile on her face after last night (Aw!).

Finally, Chris gets his chance.  And, can you believe it? Instead of using his time wisely, he wastes it on saying he's mad at Emily and wants to know why he didn't get a one-on-one. Um...dude...you have her one-on-one right NOW! So, after they talk, he's feeling pretty good about his chances of getting the rose on the date. Sean, gets the rose. What?! Shocker (not!)!  Ha! Chris just can't seem to win one. Now he's fuming! He can barely sit still as Emily pins the rose on the rightful winner of the night. He just looked away and fidgeted in his chair drumming his fingers on his leg in disgust. What a loser! Well, the guys should be pretty happy with Emily's choice. They were afraid that if Chris got the rose that he would make it horrible for them by rubbing it in their faces.

Time for Jef's one-on-one. They role-play over the whole Bachelorette experience with a couple of marionettes. Yes marionettes. Actually it is pretty funny, as Jef makes fun of himself for being so scared to make a move on Emily. Afterwards, they have a real conversation about kids and moving in together. The more they share their "real life" goals, the more they seem to have in common, so it's a little easier to see why she feels such a connection with him. They are really, actually, kind of sweet together (although I still would pick Sean). Emily asked Jef about meeting his family, and he said that she wouldn't be meeting his parents, only some of his siblings, because they have a several year commitment in South Carolina. What the heck does that mean? His family seems like they could be really different. He also said that he once stopped seeing a girl because his parents didn't like her. This has Emily noticeably worried, but he assures her that she has nothing to worry about that they are going to love her. That is...if they ever meet her.

At the rose ceremony, John is feeling quite good about himself and he thinks that Chris should be nervous. John, says he doesn't really feel nervous at all. Who else thought that way and went home? Ryan, Doug, just to name a couple. Chris is all beside himself waiting for Emily to come because he really needs to talk to her. However, he's told that isn't going to happen, because Emily's mind is made up and there is no cocktail party. Oh, no! Chris's worst nightmare has just happened! He goes off by himself and starts pacing and whimpering "it wasn's supposed to be like this." Wah, wah, wah.

The guys line up and she begins handing out the roses. First rose goes to Jef and the next to Arie. That means it's down to cocky, sure-of-himself John and whiny, weepy, give-me-a-chance-to-apologize Chris. Chris at this point, looks like he's either going to pass out or throw up as he's sweating and swaying from side to side. Finally at the last second, he manages to eek out in a crackly voice, the request to talk to Emily. She agrees, and he apologizes for being a bully and for not being respectful. He also tells her that he sees a future for them and he doesn't want to go. At this point, John STILL thinks that Chris should be the nervous one. They both reenter the room, and the final rose goes to: Chris! John is shocked! Apparently Chris practically falling on his face wasn't enough to let John slip past him. I feel kind of bad for John because he does seem like a sweet guy, but he didn't really stand a chance because it took so long for him to really show any interest in Emily.

So there we have it, the final 4 who get to take Emily home to meet their families: Sean, Jef, Arie and Chris. Can't wait for next week!