Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The Glass House, Ep. 1 (Series Premiere)

Here we go, the very first episode of The Glass House! Much has been said about the obvious and not-so-subtle comparisons to Big Brother. CBS tried to ban the show, citing the apparent copying of their own show, but the courts allowed ABC to go forward with The Glass House. The ratings for the first episode were less than stellar, so CBS may not have to worry about much competition. Part of the problem, I think, was that because of the on-going court battle, I don't think ABC was allowed to promote the show, seeing as it may never actually be allowed to air...so I don't think many people actually knew what it was or when it was airing.  Hopefully, the show will gain some buzz and more people will give it a try.  My overall thoughts on the first episode were that it did start a bit slow, but I think the show has a lot of potential, and it could find a place separate from Big Brother.  So, let's get into it already!  Here's what you need to know:


Show Format:  14 contestants are placed in a (you guessed it) glass house. Each week, a competition is held. The losing team's captain plus one other team member will be expelled into limbo (gotta love the terminology). At that point it is up to the viewing audience's vote as to who goes home. The audience can also vote on competitions and other things for the houseguests to do. This is the biggest difference from Big Brother; contestants aren't just playing against each other, they are also trying to win over America. The last person standing will win $250,000.


Meet the Houseguests:
Alex - 25, bail bondsman from Dallas, TX
Andrea-31 bookkeeper from Valencia, CA
Apollo-28 poet/author from Phoenix, AZ
Ashley-30 paralegal from New Orleans, LA
Erica-27 cocktail waitress from Denver, CO
Gene-28 stuntman from Chicago, IL
Holly-21 retail sales from Detroit, MI
Jacob-28 cookfrom Coos Bay, OR
Jeffrey-35 receptionist from Brooklyn, NY
Joy-27 nurse from Fredericksburg, VA
Kevin-33 police sergeant from Toledo, OH
Mike-48 bar mitzvah dj from Pembroke, MA
Robin-43 blogger from Washington, DC
Stephanie-32 scientist from Boston, MA


Notable Opening Quotes:
Alex: "I'm primetime 99 Alex Stein." - That alone suggests we have a real winner here.
Apollo: "Wow the house is made of glass, I never would have guessed."
Gene: "I'm 6'7" about 340 of just huge awesomeness."
Erica: "The stakes are very high...at least for me, because I am broke as a joke."
Jacob: "The viewers are definitely looking for someone like me. They're looking for a funny, goofy personality with really good looks and a good body, so how could you beat that?"
Jeffrey: "I'm bold, I'm beautiful. I consider myself 'fat hot'" so I mean, I'm holding down the like hot, fat, gay guy thing too, pretty good I think." - Wow "fat hot?" that's quite the oxymoron.
Mike...I'm 48. I'm gonna be dead in a couple years! This is my last big harrah in life." - Oh, and "harrah" with his accent comes out as "harar".



So, what happened this episode?

America's first decision was splitting the contestants East vs. West for the first competition. The contestants had to find their teams...should be easy right? Not so much for Jacob from Oregon. "Oregon? I don't even know what I am." Rightly so, Mike says "I think we found our moron."


Team East: Jeffrey (captain), Holly, Kevin, Mike, Robin, Stephanie, Joy
Team West: Jacob (captain), Alex, Erica, Apollo, Andrea, Ashley, Gene


More votes from America--rooms/roomates were assigned, a pool party with Mardi Gras beads was had...funniest thing: Jeffrey gets in the hot tub, and...it overflows!!


The teams then meet to decide on team captains. Jacob agrees to be captain for the West team, because Alex talks him into it and he thinks "we are gonna not lose" and "I ain't got no doubt that we're not gonna win." Great job with the grammar there; his teachers are crying a little, I'm sure.  His next quote surely inspired confidence in his team: I'm not gonna lie, I'm an idiot when it comes to smart stuff." Possibly the best quote of the night! 


On the East team, Jeffrey decides to step up, because "there was a growing awkwardness and I just wanted to eliminate it and take the risk." That's a great reason to potentially put yourself on the chopping block.


Apollo announces to the group that he is not going to align with anyone and he's not going to vote anyone out. He has everyone draw cards and each time he'll choose a card and that will be his vote. Interesting strategy...reminds me of Greg on season 1 of Survivor when he based his votes alphabetically...pretty stupid.


First Challenge:
Contestant names need to be matched to a statement about them. Part of the team is located on lifts at the board and the other team members move them up and down with remote controls. They need to choose the correct panels that will draw a line to the right matches.


West team is up first.  Alex immediately yells out a bunch of matches and every one of them is WRONG! Nice job, Alex. More yelling, people are moving up and down and no one knows what's going on. Jacob said it best, "everything we thought was exactly backwards." They finally get all of the matches and they are so sure that there is no way that the East team can beat their time. Ha!


Jeffrey immediately gives instructions to the team as to who should be giving the directions so that everyone knows who to listen to.  They work really well as a team, and it helps that they have some smart people on their team. 


The results are in: the West team had a time of 7:04, and the East team's time is 3:54. SHOCKER! ...Not! This means that Jacob will be heading into limbo, and the houseguests will vote on a 2nd houseguest to join him.


Alex begins his reign of terror on the house by wearing some tiny underwear and thrusting behind some of the girls (some of whom are married). Kevin sticks up for the girls and puts Alex in his place. Really liking Kevin at this point. Don't mess with this Ohio cop!


The houseguests were able to ask questions of America, and as a group answers were revealed, but not the questions. 


Best question: Erika: "Is Arie the racecar driver still on The Bachelorette?" Ha!
Stupidest question: Apollo: "Did you smile at least once today?" His thought behind asking this question was just to inspire everyone...yeah, OK. 
Most pointless question: Alex. He asked if he should become the most epic villain in the history of reality tv, and America said "yes".  This question is pointless because I'm pretty sure he was going to go ahead and do that no matter what, but thanks America...you just gave him permission to do so, and unleashed a complete douche bag. He is just a less good looking, Will "Dr. Evil" wannabe. His "villain" is just plain mean for the sake of being mean. I would love to post some of the cruel comments that he made, but it would take way too long.  It was just one horrible thing after another. I have no doubt that he didn't really mean anything he said...he just wanted to become famous. 


Meanwhile, Jacob is moping around the house. Holly tried to cheer him up because she was afraid America wouldn't want to vote for him, and the house would be stuck with Alex.


Time to Vote:
The voting process on this show is quite unique. Contestants approach a screen and it reacts similar to a Wii. They swipe their hands to move to the picture of the contestant they want to vote for. But that isn't all! Then each contestant used a very creative way of "shooting" the picture. Some used their hands as a gun, some a bow and arrow and even a baseball bat.  Very cool, I must say.


The votes are in, and it's not even close. 10 votes for Alex. Ashley received 2 votes and Erica received 1 vote. "Jacob and Alex please proceed to limbo." The house thinks they will be rid of Alex, but in a last minute twist...JACOB QUITS! However, America can still vote Alex out.  We can only hope. 


And so, that's the first episode. Can't wait to see what happens next week. Will America vote to see more of Alex, or did he take being a "villain" too far. My guess is that people will want to see more of him, but we'll see.

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