After the Rose Ceremony
Lauren wants to go home, she hates everyone and everything. I guess she was hoping Joshua from Kaitlyn's season would show up. Gee...won't that be a big twist when he eventually does show up...what are the odds?
Ashley told Lauren to stop embarrassing her. Lauren said she is in hell, not paradise and she wants to leave. This is really ridiculous.
Here's Where Things Stand...
Jade and Tanner are solid. Carly and Kirk are joined at the hip. JJ and Tenley have something brewing, and he can't figure out why the heck she likes him. Dan and Ashley S. totally get each other, so I guess they deserve each other. Mikey is still really, really into Clare...but she does not reciprocate...at all.
Lauren's Secret
So, apparently the reason Lauren is freaking out is because she has someone at home that she left to come here. That person at home...get this...also has someone at home! Yep, that's right...she's the mistress. She fully admits that. She is upset that he is going to be upset with her. She's a total mess right now.
Ashley thinks that if Joshua would show up, that would be the best thing for her. And wouldn't you know...guess who shows up? Yep...it's Joshua.
Joshua Arrives
Ashley I. immediately pulls him aside so she can fill him in about Lauren waiting for him. She said she thinks it would be really great if he took her out because she thinks they would really hit it off. His reaction was that he has a lot of people to get to know...so... Ashley then thinks that she did a great job of selling her sister to him. Yeah, I don't know about that...he didn't seem too interested and more creeped out than anything.
Tenley also shows an interest in Joshua, and was upset that Ashley immediately stole him away before anyone else could talk to him. She thinks Joshua is there for a single girl and not a mistress. Good call. Ashley said Lauren is such a chill girlfriend "obviously, because she lets him have another girlfriend". Yikes.
Lauren is scared to talk to him because he's the one guy she was there for. She makes her way over to him talking with Juelia. He said it was kind of bizarre how she ended up on the show. She said it started out as a joke, and then they started testing her for things and it became real, like she was actually going to be on the show. He said the tests weren't bad and asked if she didn't like needles. She said she just didn't like being tested for scary stuff. Juelia joked, like, oh were you afraid you were going to have something, and Lauren was like "I don't know". Wow, just stop talking. Stop talking now. Luckily, Tenley came in and saved him. Lauren now feels pretty confident that he's going to pick her.
JJ doesn't like Joshua, and that's being nice. JJ doesn't see him as competition at all. He said he pities whoever he picks. Well, JJ, sorry buddy, but he just asked Tenley out on a date with him. I think they make a cute couple, and are a better match than her and JJ.
Well, Lauren just seems to have the same luck as her sister. The one guy she likes, is out with someone else. That's it...she's leaving. And Ashley is devastated that her sister would just leave. She kept telling her that she was going to always be #2 to him. She wished her well being a mistress. She packs up her stuff and drags her luggage across the beach, as if she was leaving with her tail between her legs. Good riddance - one sister is way more than I can handle.
Joshua &Tenley's Date
They go for a night out on the town. She is very interested to know about his theater background. He told her about the shows he's done and she said she had actually seen one of the plays he did (obviously not one he was actually in). She talked about being a dancer and working for Disney. They seem to have a very real connection. She called him a "bear of a man" because his hands were huge. He got all blushy and red in the face.
JJ thinks he has nothing to worry about with Joshua. He said Joshua has no moves and that he's like a blind squirrel looking for nuts. He fully expects Tenley to have the worst date of her life, and when she gets back, he will steal her away, thank Joshua for dropping her off, and that he will be taking her on a real date.
They get back, and that's just what he does. Joshua looks totally peeved, like he could just deck JJ right now. First thing he does is he gives her a nice big kiss. He is really falling for her and thinks the term sweetheart was made for her. Minutes later, JJ goes to bed and she's making out with Joshua something fierce.
Joshua - Red Flags
Joshua starts talking about a place in L.A. that sells coconuts with Molly in them. Molly is a drug that makes you hallucinate. He talked about how it would be fun if they all had coconuts right now. He also told stories about going to Vegas and popping some Molly's and waking up with no money. The girls were getting some really weird vibes about him. They were worried about Tenley. They wonder about his lifestyle and doing drugs. Mikey sees Tenley as a little sister and he felt like he had to tell her and warn her. Both Mikey and Dan sat her down and warned her. She said she's never done a drug in her life, and she's OK with people who have that in their past, but she doesn't want to get wrapped up in someone like that and then be hurt.
She was so happy they cared about her enough to tell her. Now, she knows she has to talk to him, but she has no idea what to say. She knows she can't waste her time on someone who isn't right for her. She confronted him and said people are looking out for her and said that some of the things he had said concerned them. He looked confused. She asked him if he likes to party and he said not really, he did some in college, but now he rarely does. She asked him about Vegas, and wondered if he might know what was said to make them concerned. He said, "oh, the Molly". He said that was one time at a Bachelor party and that was it. He said it was not a lifestyle at all. She wants to believe him, because he wasn't phased by her questions and didn't act like someone who had done something wrong.
Joe Arrives
We're about to see a very different side of Joe. We remember him as the kind of sweet country boy who left his season on kind of a sour note. The guys think he will be funny and the life of the party.
He joins the group, and it's dead silence. No one is saying anything. Awkward. JJ told him that he was boring him right now. Someone else said they heard he was funny. Joe wondered who said that because they must not know him. They all now think that he's really awkward. They think he may not really be interested in getting to know girls and trying to fit in with the guys. They keep trying to ask him questions to get him to open up, but his responses are just really vague.
Clare thinks he might be the guy for her. Until...he looked at her and said "this isn't your first rodeo, this is what, your second paradise?" And then under his breath said, "that's terrible." She got up and left and couldn't believe he would disrespect her like that. She said that's what starts fights. She left and started crying. Guess who shows up...the raccoon. Just in case you didn't know...she's not really talking to these animals...production is making it seem that way, but she's really talking to someone else in the cast who is off-camera....just so you know. She may be a little weird, but she's not "talking to animals like Ashley S."weird.
Everyone wonders when he's going to pick someone for this date already! They keep asking him questions about what the card said, and it mentioned riding horses. To the group, he asks "does anyone want to go ride horses?". Immediately, Juelia said that she does. They were like, OK, Juelia will go. He said "do you really want to go, did I really ask you?" She was like, well, I don't know, did you? He said the ball was in her court....awkward.
Jonathan is upset because he has had a connection with Juelia in the first couple days. He hopes Joe falls off the horse and breaks his leg.
Joe & Juelia's Date
She's still surprised that he asked her on the date because they hadn't really talked. She totally forgets that she was the one who spoke up and said she wanted to go ride horses when he asked. That's the only reason he asked her.
Joe seems a little more himself on this date. He admitted the first night he was nervous and when he gets nervous, he doesn't like making eye contact.
She brought up her daughter, Ireland. He said he can't wait to be a parent someday and said he loves kids. He said it's obvious that she's there for the right reasons and believes this is worth it, otherwise she wouldn't have left her daughter.
She told him that up until he showed up, she hadn't really had any feelings for anyone (sorry Jonathan).
They ended it up making a connection and made out in the water near a waterfall.
They come back and Juelia said she had a great time, but they all noticed that he didn't seem like he had a good time. He looked like he could care less. Carly asked if they kissed and if it was good and she said yes. They asked her if he was getting her rose and she said yes.
Jonathan thinks Joe was just using Juelia to get a rose.
Mikey is Clueless
Dan hears from the girls that Clare is not into Mikey at all and they are pretty sure that he isn't picking up on it. He goes to Mikey and tells him that the girls are saying that Clare isn't into him. He asked how they knew and he said Clare told them. He just still wasn't getting it.
He asked Tenley for advice. She said she didn't know if she knew enough to be helpful. All she knew was that she was kind of interested in Jared.
The guys think he is delusional and he is so into her that he's not seeing reality.
Juelia and Jonathan and Joe
Jonathan shared his feelings with Juelia. She said that she just didn't know if there was any romantic feelings there. He was sad that he "put all his eggs in one basket" and now he's where he was at the beginning.
Juelia is telling everyone that she really likes Joe. Does he feel the same? Well, let's just say they show him asking the producers "She's not very smart is she?" Ouch! He said the date went fine, it just wasn't with the right person. Hmmm...that's not what he told Juelia on their date. He said it was the perfect date with the perfect person. He didn't seem to think she was unkissable, as they were making out in the water. Poor Juelia. Oh no, it's worse...the producer asked how the kiss was and he said "bad". Meanwhile, we see Juelia still gushing about their date. She said that him asking about Ireland made her feel special. They said it seemed like he must have looked her up before this and that he must really like her. Oh no...still getting worse. The producer asked why he let her kiss him and the worst answer possible "because I wanted the rose". What did I say? We're going to see a much different side of him than we saw on Kaitlyn's season. The producer then asked what he would like to see happen from here on out. He said that Juelia would give him her rose, then Sam would show up and they would go on a date and then fall in love and have kids. He was hoping that she was already there when he got there. Then to top it all off, he farts on camera and the producer yells "Joe! If you're gonna do that at least close your legs!" He just shrugs his shoulders in disgust. What a pig!
Jared - Date Card
Clare really likes Jared. Ashley I. REALLY likes Jared and thinks he's the perfect guy. Ashley thinks this is great for her! Ashley isn't worried about Clare because she thinks she's too old for him. Because Clare is 34, she thinks her eggs are old and dead. Oh no she didn't! Ashley said he even might kiss her tonight. She even wore nude lipstick so he wouldn't be scared to kiss red lips.
Everyone knows there is going to be a lot of trouble no matter who he picks.
He clearly had no question on who he was going to ask, so he turned to Clare and asked her out. She immediately said yes. With that, now 2 people are devastated: Ashley and Mikey. Ashley for obvious reasons, and Mikey because Clare didn't even bat an eye as she accepted. He might be coming around to the idea that she just isn't into him. Here's an idea...why don't Mikey and Ashley go cry about it together.
Jared went to Mikey and said he wanted to talk. Mikey said if he wants to date someone 8 years older than him, that's fine. Mikey said he felt betrayed and blindsided. Jared said it just felt right to ask him. Mikey said he didn't know what he had with Clare and it must not have been much if she jumped at the chance to go out with him. Jared said that going on a one-on-one doesn't guarantee that he's going to get the rose. Mikey said he wished he would have had a heads-up. If it hadn't happened in front of everyone he might have hit him. He thinks Clare wasn't being upfront with him and felt disrespected him by giving him some innuendos. She asked him if he felt like she hadn't been upfront with him. He said no. She said she told him multiple times how she felt. She asked him to tell him what she said to make him feel like she had feelings for him. He didn't have an answer. She said his angry reaction to her accepting a date proves that he is not the guy for her.
Clare got extremely upset that Mikey yelled at her. She said she cared enough to talk to him about what happened and he just yelled at her.
Mikey said he might just have to leave on his own to save what pride he has.
Random Craziness
So, Carly sees Ashley I. run to the ocean and she squats down and then gets up and runs back to the beach. They all wonder what she was doing, and Carly said she just peed! They asked her why she didn't just go to the restroom that was right there and told her that she must have some pee on herself. She said she couldn't because she went in the water after. Wow.
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