Juelia and Tenley were going into the ocean, and immediately, Juelia is stung by a jellyfish. She forced Tenley to pee on her foot. She put her foot over the toilet, and Tenley did her business. It apparently worked, as they both laughed and giggled the whole time.
Chelsie & Nick
Carly is so stoked that Chelsie is talking to Dan. She really wants her to take him on the date. Jared is also hoping for the same thing, so Samantha will go home. She then pulls Nick aside..."dang it", says Carly.
So she goes on the date with Nick, and their date is on a huge yacht. They of course did the obligatory Titanic reference. They're having a great time, but Nick doesn't think that they are having a romantic connection.
Nick & Ashley S.
Nick is beyond ready to hang out with someone who is not crazy. He's tired of everyone telling him about all the weird things she says and does - like he's somehow supposed to do something about it. He's done. He has to break the news to her, but before he does, he tells her that she smells like she drank a lot last night because she smells like a brewery. He said he is just not feeling it with her and she says she totally agrees. On the inside, she feels let down and deceived.
Mackenzie Arrives
Remember weird Mackenzie? Yeah, she's the really creepy/weird young mom. Ashley I. is so happy to see her. She can't wait to tell her about her obsession with Jared. She basically wants to tell her to just steer clear because he is spoken for.
She and Ashley try to figure out what her date card means. It said to pick a guy she can see a future with. Ashley said the clues are usually pretty obvious. So of course, her thought is "aliens".
Ashley says that she thinks she would really like Justin because he also has a kid. She talked with Justin and it was so good to talk about being a parent to a son. Mackenzie eventually asks Justin on the date. Amber is super bummed. She was hoping she would pick someone else because she really likes Justin and wanted to get to know him more.
Everyone is Still Obsessed with Samantha
Dan absolutely loves everything about Samantha. He thinks they are so compatible, and no one could be more compatible than anyone on the show. She could be the one chance he has to find love in paradise.
Meanwhile, Nick is on his date with Chelsie, and he too, can't stop thinking about Samantha. He is still hung up on her and he isn't about to let Dan stand in his way.
Mackenzie & Justin's Date
Their date looks like something that would be right up Ashley S.'s alley. It looks like they are going to be doing some kind of voodoo. And again, the Spanish dude has them flummoxed because they speak absolutely no Spanish. At least Justin is picking up a few things here and there, but she is clueless.
They have to take off their clothes and the guy starts squirting them with smoke. This is just weird. Mackenzie wondered if she was going to be sacrificed.
Next they have to rub mud all over each other. Justin is not mad to be touching Mackenzie because she thinks he's hot.
She thinks the date went so well, and they had a great time, even though they had no idea what they were doing, or why.
At the end of the date, the guy tells them that they are now married. Ha!
After their date, Mackenzie really thinks they are married and she starts treating him like her husband. She said they are like "Mexican citizen married". She wonders if they have kids if they will be Mexican...because neither her nor Justin are Mexican. Quickly Justin realizes just what he's gotten himself into. They skipped the honeymoon phase, and he's committed now, whether he likes it or not. Things just got way too real. He's already looking for someone to divorce them tomorrow.
Jaclyn Arrives
Jaclyn could give a rats ass about anyone and anything. She thinks that everyone is going to be bored and she will be there to liven up the party. She hopes to break up the couples. They all know her reputation and it's not a good one.
Juelia was going to tell her who the single guys were, and she said she didn't care who was single. She said she isn't friends with anyone there, so wasn't worried about stepping on anyone's toes.
Jaclyn said there was slim pickens at paradise, and they might as well call this show "Kaitlyn's Rejects". She said she wants nothing to do with the welder who can't form a complete sentence (aka Joshua). She thinks she has an advantage because she's sure that all of the guys are sick of the girl they've been dating.
She said she's heard a lot of good things about Jared. Uh oh, poor Ashley...yet another girl after "her" man. Jaclyn tells Jared that he seems bored with his current situation. Jared brought up the letter Ashley wrote. Jaclyn thought that was very elementary. Jared said he and Ashley know they are both open to other relationships. Wait..um...Jared...you might want to make that a little more clear to Ashley, because I don't think she's getting that message.
Ashley Takes Matters Into Her Own Hands
Ashley sees Jaclyn talking to Jared, and she is determined not to let Jaclyn take him away from her. Ashley goes and meets up with Chris Harrison. She tells him that she needs to have a date and it needs to be with a fantasy suite so she can have time away from the cameras with him (keep in mind - she's currently a virgin). She said there is no more time to waste.
Jaclyn asks Jared if she would ask him on a date, would he say yes. Before he can answer, Ashley I. comes running in with her date card from Chris. Oh no, what is Jared going to do now?! She said she just so happened to find a date card addressed to her. She reads the card out loud in front of everyone and it just said to "pick a guy to spend some alone time with" (I'm pretty sure Chris didn't even give that to her, because it sounds like she wrote it herself). She said she didn't even have to think about it and looks at Jared and asks him if he wants to go with her. If Ashley was any kind of a normal human being, she would be able to tell that the look on his face was saying "please don't ask me because I really don't want to go with you). He looked so sad, he was like "Really? Is this really happening right now? Why me?" Jared, being the super, super nice guy that he is, he just can't bare to hurt anyone's feelings, so he agrees. Ashley is beyond excited. Jaclyn looks on in disbelief.
In Ashley's own words "I might not be a virgin tomorrow."
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