Bachelor in Paradise, Ep. 2.4

Where We Left Off
Clare and Mikey had a big fight. Mikey thinks Clare is horrible and was so vague when she said she wanted to keep things open. He took that as her wanting to take things slow, not going on a date with someone else. I don't know what his definition of "open" is, but it is obviously not the same as any other human. He is so mad at Clare that he shaved his facial hair, that he nicknamed Clare. Also, he has a ridiculously hideous tiny ponytail on the top of his head. He looks absolutely ridiculous.

Juelia continues to feel good about her date with Joe. Joe continues to hope that Sam shows up. Mikey realizes that he could be going home, so he is looking for other possibilities. He thinks that he might be a good fit for Juelia. She wanted to go for a walk and he thought she was trying to get away and he said he just wanted to kiss her. She pulled away big time...as he moves way too fast, yet again. Rejection #2 for Mikey.

Ashley I. can't imagine losing the only guy she likes to a cougar like Clare. She thinks she will use her sexuality on Jared because that's all she has.

Jared & Clare's Date

BBUK 15: Week 4 Recap

Week 4 Highlights in the BBUK House

Impressions
Winston, Ashleigh and Chris are given the task of doing impressions of their fellow housemates. They don't know it, but the rest of the house is watching them, and they will be trying to guess who they are impersonating.

Winston does Kimberly
Ashleigh does Ash
Winston does Matthew
Chris does Danielle
Ashleigh does Helen
Winston does Toya

They guessed them all correctly. Based more on what they said than actually sounding like who they were portraying. I think Winston was the best.

Girl Power

Bachelor Pad, Ep. 3.8: The Finale

I'm kind of glad that I read the spoilers so I know what craziness happens before I watch.

First we see all of the eliminated players, and they all get an introduction followed by an applause. I think it's hilarious how just about everyone got the same volume of applause and cheers from the crowd except for the twins and Jamie. As soon as Chris said their names, it was almost completely silent! Ha!

So, big surprises begin to unfold, as promised. Blakely and Tony announce that they are moving in together. But Tony wasn't done, he gets down on one knee and proposes! She says yes!

On to Michael and Rachel. I really used to like Michael, but he has really treated Rachel unfairly. Obviously they weren't on the same page. She was in love, he wasn't. He didn't want a long-distance relationship, but apparently he did with someone else in Chicago. Ouch!

Then on to Chris. I'm glad to know that he's gotten a lot of negative feedback from his friends and family. It's nice to know his family isn't sticking up for the way he behaved and how he treated Jamie and Blakely.

The Vote:
Michael-Nick/Rachel
Jamie-Nick/Rachel
Kalon-Chris/Sarah
Ed-Nick/Rachel
Blakely-Nick/Rachel
David-Chris/Sarah
Erica-Chris/Sarah
Reid-Nick/Rachel
Lindzi-Nick/Rachel
Donna-Nick/Rachel
Tiny-Nick/Rachel
Jaclyn-Nick/Rachel

13-3 Nick and Rachel beat Chris and Sarah (Chris says that the remaining votes we didn't see were all for Nick and Rachel). Thank goodness! Now they each need to decide whether to keep the money for themselves or share it with their partner. If one says "keep" snd the other says "share" the one who says "keep" gets the money. If they both say "share" they will split the money. If both say "keep"- the rest of the players split the money.

Most of the players are pretty sure that they are both good people, and they will most likely split the money.

But poor Rachel, she gets screwed yet again! That dirty little loser! He did nothing in the game, how dare he be so greedy! Rachel trusted Nick to pick "share" but nope...she loses! I guess I can kind of see where he was coming from, as far as her not really wanting to be his partner and still wanting to be with Michael.

I still can't believe that this "nobody" won it all. He becomes the first person to take all of the money.

Needless to say, Rachel is shocked...as is EVERYONE ELSE! I can't believe how mean he's being about the whole thing. Way to kick her while she's down. I just think it's so mean that he didn't feel bad at all and he just laughs at her. That's just so low.

Bachelor Pad, Ep. 3.6 & 3.7

Sorry I've been gone for a couple weeks, but I'm back! I'll be recapping the last 2 episodes of Bachelor Pad, so here we go!

Episode 3.6

Chris makes the announcement that everyone must now officially compete as couples: vote together and go home together. By default, Rachel and Nick must pair up because everyone else is already coupled up.

Competition: Spelling Bee

They all proved just how dumb they were! Somehow Ed (yes Ed) and Jaclyn make it to the finals against Chris (yes Chris) and Sarah. Wow! And by a complete miracle, Chris and Sarah win, ensuring that they can't be voted out. Yikes! You could have heard a pin drop...everyone was devastated and Blakely started bawling her eyes out.

Chris and Sarah go on a boring date to a lake, while Ed and Jaclyn (the runner-ups) get an overnight date somewhere much more luxurious. Once alone, they have "the talk" about his horrible public rejection of her. To make things worse he tells Jaclyn he was in a relationship before coming on the show and they "broke up" so he could go on the show "single"! He still thinks about this person all the time. What a blow! And, he wasn't done...he said that he thought everyone knew, and that that was one of the first things he and Sarah talked about! To which, Jaclyn rightly replied: "I'm not Sarah." How cruel! I don't really like Jaclyn that much, but I really feel bad for her. For some odd reason, she really liked Ed and was afraid he was going to hurt her...and he did...big time.

Listening to Ed and Jaclyn talk about their relationship is so mind-boggling. All they do is talk around each other. Basically, Ed says he wants to be friends with benefits (emphasis on the benefits) and nothing more. Jaclyn is devastated...but wait...2 seconds later she decides she still wants to be with him because they have chemistry and she likes waking up next to him, so why change things. Seriously Jaclyn? She then says she trusts Ed. I think she just suffered from short-term memory loss, because she must have just forgotten EVERYTHING he has sone to her and EVERYTHING he just said. And off to bed they go...

Then to top things off, they get roses to pass out to save another couple. Just curious, and not that I want Chris and Sarah to have that power, but how do the runner-ups get this power? Anyway, when all is said and done, Blakely and Tony are safe.

Lots of drama before voting (as usual), but it's Lindzi and Kalon who go. Kalon pulls a repeat of last season as he jumps out of his limo at the last second and gets in Lindzi's limo. As they drive away, they share some "I love yous". Gag...

Episode 3.7

Apparently, my DVR cut off the first part of the episode, so where I'm starting from is with Chris and Sarah sending a couple home. I guess they won a challenge, or maybe this was from their win in the Spelling Bee, not really sure. They choose to send Tony and Blakely home. Blakely is crushed. Too bad she had to go before Chris, and how awful that it was him sending her home. Oh well, from what I hear, they are still together and SPOILER ALERT: is proposing to her on the finale.

Challenge: Karaoke

The couples will be singing Night Ranger's "Sister Christian". Please say it isn't so. Ed, the idiot, says the song is on his running mix and is one of his favorites, but yet didn't realize right away that it was actually Night Ranger singing...he thought it was a cover band. Really Ed? Oh dear.

I feel bad for Night Ranger as they are forced to judge the couples, while they absolutely murder their song beyond recognition. I love it that they ask Chris if they can do it, and he says "no, they're going to be terrible". Yep, that's what I'm thinking. I've read the recaps of this episode, and every recap has said that it is the worst torture they've ever heard. Can't wait...hope my ears forgive me.

Surprisingly, during rehearsals, Chris is not worse than Sarah! She is really, really bad! If she auditioned in front of Simon Cowell, I can't imagine what he would compare her to. I don't know how anyone can be that bad. Unfortunately, all of the others aren't much better. Nick and Chris seem to be the best of the bunch, but remember, they have to perform as couples. And you are only as good as your weakest singer. So, whichever weaker partner is the best, that's probably going to be who wins.

Chris, the cheater! He has Sarah write lyrics on his arms! Reading the words off your arm is not going to make you look any better than forgetting the lyrics.

Is there anything worse than their singing? Maybe. The big 80's hair wigs that the guys had to wear are simply dreadful.

Up first: Nick and Rachel. Rachel's raspy voice just doesn't cut it. You would think it would help her, but...no. Nick, on the other hand, is actually decent. Of course, tone deaf Ed thinks Rachel can sing and that Nick can't. Go figure. The performance as a whole was bad, but not horrendous. They worked the stage and at least gave it a good try.

Next is Ed and Jaclyn. So embarrassing. They start, and then stop and laugh as they forget the words and start making things up. They beg to start over, but the band just keeps going. Ha! Jaclyn starts gyrating in Ed's face as they both sing about every other word. And Ed says he sings this song all the time...didn't show one bit. I love the looks on the audience's faces...they looked like they were so embarrassed and uncomfortable to be watching them.

And finally Chris and Sarah take the stage. I love Nick making fun of Chris because he was hunched over the microphone because it was too low, and out of this big, deep-voiced guy came this rather high-pitched singing voice that didn't seem to match. And then there's Sarah, singing lower than Chris. The dancing was sad and pathetic. I read a recap that compared her to Elaine's dance on Seinfeld, and it totally was just like that! It looked like she was having a seizure. Ed said she looked like a monkey being electrocuted...ha! The song ends with Chris so obviously reading the lyrics off his arm, which is even more obvious now that he doesn't have his shirt on.

The winners: Nick and Rachel. Not really a tough choice on that one. Now they have the choice of who to bring to the finals to compete against them.

Rachel and Jaclyn are like best friends, so it's obvious who she will want to bring. Nick is close with Chris and thinks they have a better chance of beating them, so that's who he wants. They are on completely different pages, so someone will have to cave. Chris Harrison said after the show aired) that their deliberation took hours to finally come to a decision.

Rachel caved and they send Ed and Jaclyn home. Nick promised her that friendships will still be there after the show. I'm not so sure about that. Jaclyn is pissed and VERY hurt and says that Rachel is dead to her. Rachel is so upset for sending her best friend home and she knows she did the wrong thing and didn't fight hard enough. Nick told her to make the decision for the money. Poor Rachel...I know what happens in the end...and let's just say, that decision comes back to bite her.

Bachelor Pad

Oh my word, this is too funny.  Last week Blakely chooses the overnight date with Tony and they end up in the middle of nowhere and they get to rough it. 
I about died when I saw that little old 5th wheel they were spending the night in, it shouldn't matter the location or what you're doing, you should enjoy the time and be glad someone thinks more of you then they think about themselves. 
I don't give Tony & Blakely high ratings for staying together after the Bachelor Pad is over.  If she knew what was good for her she'd make it work but she seems to be HIGH maintenance.  Good Luck Tony!!

What?? Chris is still alive, can you believe that, surprising!! 
Ed you are such a tool!!  Jaclyn you're not so smart yourself.  I don't think I would be giving anything up to anyone, not even if the guy is HOT.  Sleep on the floor Ed. 
And that's all I have to say about that!

Bachelor Pad, Ep. 3.5

In a surprising twist, Blakely is no longer a fan of Chris. Thank goodness!

I can't believe that after everything Chris has done to Jamie and Blakely, that Sarah wants anything to do with him, let alone want to be in the same bed as him. Yuck!!

As much as I hated Kalon on The Bachelorette, I find him hilarious as he totally made fun of Chris and how stupid he is.

I loved seeing Chris completely fall apart when he realized all his "friends" lied to him.

Competition: The Great Fall of China-carry a tray with cups and plates around tables. Dropping anything causes you to have to start over. Everyone is ticked because Blakely worked at Hooter's for 13 years (or 35 according to Chris).

The girls go first, Blakely does good, but even she drops. There is shattering china crashing everywhere! Sarah could have won, but she got disqualified for touching the top of her cup right at the end...so Blakely ended up winning. Which means Chris basically wants to go crawl in a hole and die. Ha!

Boys are up, good luck! With Blakely attached to his hip, Tony wins. Blakely's mouth was moving the ENTIRE time! Soooo annoying!

Because partners Blakely and Tony are going on the same date, Blakely chose to give her rose to Kalon...and in doing so, making Chris's worst nightmare come true.

Kalon, of course, takes Lindzi on his date. So their date takes place on a bridge...that's been closed just for them...with a chandelier? What kind of a date is that? Kalon thinks it's gorgeous and romantic? Really? Shockingly, he tells Lindzi that he thinks he's falling in love with her and that he doesn't have to fake anything like he did with Emily, from day one. Ouch!

Back at the house, Chris begins to wallow in his sorrows "how did this happen?" Oh gee, let me think. His one last harrah: vote Lindzi out as revenge. Ok, we'll see how well that works.

Time for Blakely and Tony's date. She chose the overnight date (for obvious reasons), and also because she assumed it would be a more expensive, exciting, luxurious date. But...it turns out they are going camping! Lol!)

So then, mid-date, Tony goes to the jeep and turns the radio to a country station. The song that starts playing sounds so familiar. Why? Oh, it just happens to be the song that uber-villain Wes sang to Jillian a gazillion times, and then also sang to Gia on Bachelor Pad! Anyone who likes country: am I wrong or does someone else sing the exact same song? Highly unlikely. Way to go Bachelor producers. Way to totally intervene and make our ears bleed one more time from that song.

Tony's rose of safety goes to...oh wait...Chris has something to say...again. He's the king of interrupted rose handouts. Blakely coached Tony through his entire presentation of the rose just to be sure he didn't screw it up. He eventually gives the rose to Jaclyn.

Cocktail party time. Chris H. adresses all the couples and talks about the true relationships that have formed: Kalon and Lindzi, Michael and Rachel and the new couple Tony and Blakely (who apparently made whoopee on their date...thanks Tony...TMI). Chris then addresses Ed and Jaclyn. Jaclyn is very uncomfortable. Ed says, in front of everyone, that he did not come to find a relationship with anyone and he still feels that way. Ouch! The look on Jaclyn's face was priceless. She looked absolutely devastated.

Time to shake things up. The entire house votes for one woman to go home. The woman with the most votes then has the sole vote on which guy goes home. Wow, this should be interesting.

Michael had the perfect plan: have his alliance vote for Erica; spread the rumor that Chris orchestrated her demise, so when she's voted out, she takes Chris with her. His plan was going perfectly...until Michael said that Chris voted for her, it got back to Chris (who hadn't voted yet). Chris took Erica into the voting room so she could watch him vote for Lindzi. Uh oh...backfire!

Erica gets the most votes, and she takes Michael with her. And...she has the last word, as she says that Holly made the right choice...low blow! It's a game Erica! People are expected to lie and manipulate.

Bachelor Pad, Ep. 3.4

The most anticipated challenge: surveys. Everyone is required to answer questions about each other. Rounds: love and romance, and who said that?
Women are up first. At the end of round 1 Sarah is in the lead, followed by Jaclyn. Blakely sees that Chris (her partner) is very openly cheering for Sarah and not her. Ha! Chris is an idiot. Am I the only one wondering why he has the most girls fighting over him. At this point, Kalon even looks better than him.

Round 2 is "Who said that?"
1. The person in the house who has accomplished the most is me. I'm amazing.-Ed (I would have absolutely chosen Kalon on that one)
2. Other than to win the money, Ed is only on the show so he won't be forgotten since his season was 20 years ago.-Chris
3. The person who has accomplished the least in life is Blakely.-Nick
4. The person in the house who would make the worst parent is Erica because she eats her hair.-Kalon
5. The first thing I thought of when seeing the girls in their rhythnic gymnastics outfits was sexy thoughts.-David.

And the winner is: Jaclyn

The men are up next.

Bachelor Pad, Ep. 3.3

This week's challenge: an obstacle course "Hot Sludge Fundae". Partners chosen at random. Ha...there goes everyone's strategy. Funniest matchup: Kalon and Erica Rose!

Kalon continues to prove what a douche he is. He says Erica could probably eat her way through PacMan style.

Michael is just amazing at challenges! But David gives him a run for his money. Ed continues to stink up the place. His partner came in first and he was still last, not even finishing...bummer. Ed and Jamie have a vote against them. And after review of the close finish, David just edges his way past Michael for the rose and is safe.

David chooses Blakely, Erica Rose and Jamie to go on his date, which turns out to be a prom. Woopty-do. Lame!

Back at the house, the scheming continues. Reid tries to cover his tracks with Ed, snd for the time-being, Ed believes him and thinks he's a friend.

Later, Ed continues to make a fool of himself by hooking up with Jaclyn. "Um...what was your name again?" No words...I have no words.

Blakely and Jamie fight with David for the rose and Jamie is the victor...MUCH to Blakely's dismay. Jamie now does not have to worry about the one vote against her.

Rachel was David's partner, so now she chooses 3 guys for her date: Nick, Tony and Michael. I have to admit that I completely forgot that Nick and Tony were on the show. Apparently Rachel doesn't care that either of them are on the date, because she only wants to spend time with Michael (big surprise). Their date is to a wax museum, where Chris Harrison totally freaks them all out by pretending to be a wax statue. This might be the most fun date/challenge: they get to become wax statues and also prank fans behind glass.

Michael and Rachel get a lot of love as they believe they're just statues, but Tony? Not so much. Someone said he was "what's a nice word for pathetic?" Lol

Chris gives Jamie the "it's not you, it's me" routine...haha!

And the rose goes to...Michael! Shocker! Gotta say I agree with most of America...Michael is awesome. He's always been a favorite of mine. Cute. Funny. Sweet.

Jamie spills the beans to Ed about the plot to get him out...and it hits the fan, in the pool. Again, so many stories, too hard to follow them all, so we'll see when the roses are handed out as to who actually goes home.

My thoughts on the Reid/Ed feud:
(1) Ed: it's a game, where people are supposed to scheme to win money.
(2) Yes, it was dirty of Reid to go about getting Ed out, which was only made worse when it got back to Ed. But, Ed, suck it up, and see point #1.
(3) The back-stabbing was between Ed and Reid, so stay out of it Jaclyn and stop crying over it! You have no true feelings for Ed, so stop taking it so personally.

And going home are: Reid and Donna

Reid's scheming did him in. Jaclyn's persuasion caused a flip and instead of Ed, it's Reid going home.

Bachelor Pad, Ep. 3.2

Therapy session with the twins: "you called me a slut. I cried.", "stop yelling, you're not a slut, I never would have said that if I was sober", "let's talk strategy, we need people to like us"...wah wah wah! Yikes...double the trainwreck, double the wackadoodle.

Challenge: rhythmic gymnastics ( hello salute to the Olympics). Just as expected, the training is ridiculous and painful (for them and for the viewer).  And if the moves weren't bad enough: the outfits are even worse!

I was disappointed in the girls...they should done better. I loved Mike's analogy: it was like a preschool recital, add ribbons and take it down a notch. Some of the guys took it pretty seriously and actually did quite a bit better than the girls plus they did it in skimpy leotards. Way to go guys.

Judges Ashley and JP, and someone I don't know. They vote on the best and worst guy and girl.Worst=Erica Rose, Ed; Best=Blakely, Mike

Can I just say how much I despise Chris? I have no words to describe how annoying, low-down dirty and skeezy he is. He makes my skin crawl every time I see him or hear him talk.

Michael chooses: Rachel, Lindzi and Donna (which makes Erica mad because she wanted him to give her the rose because she has 1 vote against her because she came in last). Donna is a little delusional thinking Michael is taking her (and only her) on a date. They get to see Adelitas Way perform (who I love). They were great, and Mike and Rachel share a pretty romantic kiss in front of everyone, including Donna. Then, later to fulfill a fantasy, he makes out with Donna. I don't think he really likes her, he's basically just throwing her a bone. Mike ends up giving Rachel the rose.

Back at the house, Chris tries to get in good with all the girls....by making out and playing both Blakely and Jamie, and "selling himself". Yuck!!! Guess what...Jamie gets an eyeful and a big wakeup call by catching Chris and Blakely in bed together. Get out now...you're better off.

Blakely chooses Ed, David and Chris. They do a soapbox Derby. Blakely and Chris deserve each other...they are both fake and annoying.
Blakely gives the rose to Chris...yuck!

Shocker: Ed is drunk...and swimming...again! He's drinking out of his winning trophy. Right now, he's the only bigger train wreck than the dippy twins. They literally fight 24/7! They are ridiculous...stop acting like children!

Britney wants to leave, Erica wants to stay because she has a crush on David. Erica can't convince her to stay, so she's forced to go with her. She says goodbye to David and he couldn't have cared less. What an embarassing display of 2 beings that call themselves humans. The next day...David is surprised to find out the twins left. "I wish they had talked to me first". Lol

At the cocktail party, they are told that all the girls are safe since the twins left. Reid convinces Sarah (who hooked up with Ed the night before) and a few girls to vote for Ed, while many others voted for Ryan because they don't trust him. Immediately after voting, Sarah tells Ed she voted for him and he is shocked. Immediately after that, she regrets voting out the one person she has a crush on snd the one person she liked spending time with.

Rose Ceremony: Ryan received the most votes and is sent home. 

Bachelor Pad, Ep. 3.1

Welcome to Bachelor Pad 3!

Who's in the House?

Guys:

Chris: Emily's season 

First impressions: Yuck...don't want to see him again. He wants it to be all girls and him, and he's hoping Lindzi is there.

Reid: Jillian's season 

First impressions: I loved Reid, and thought Jillian should have picked him. He doesn't want to lose to Ed again.

Ed: Jillian's season 

First impressions: What a douche, never really cared for the guy. What an ugly suit he's wearing. Odd how he's totally avoiding anything to do with Jillian, I wonder why...

Kalon: Emilly's season 

First impressions: Do I really even have to say it? He says he needs the money because helicopter fuel is expensive...gag!

Nick: Ashley's season

Ryan (aka “the virgin”): Deana's season

First impressions: Don't remember his face, but kind of remember his story, from way back on Deana's season. Not only is he a virgin, he's also not a drinker. He's just there to win--I think he's on the WRONG show!

Tony: Emily's season 

First impressions: All I remember about him is that he's the other guy with a kid, that wasn't Doug. Odd how he missed his son so much on Bachelorette, and now he's left him again, to do another show.

Michael: Jillian's season

First impressions: Michael was the winner of Bachelor Pad 2, and he's looking for love this time. I always liked Michael, hoping he can go far and also find love.

Girls:

Lindzi: Ben's season 

First impressions: Ben DEFINITELY should have picked her! She thinks that love would be good, but money would be good too.

Blakely: Ben's season 

First impressions: Yuck, never liked her; she's so fake. She hopes Jaclyn will be on because they are friends.

Jaclyn: Ben's season 

First impressions: Yet another girl that I can't stand. She says she's frenemies with Blakely. Sounds like their relationship is a little bit one-sided.

Rachel: Brad's season 

First impressions: No one seems too excited to see her, especially Lindzi for some reason.

Sarah: Brad's season 

First impressions: I have no clue who she is....probably because she was rejected by Brad on the 3^rd episode because she couldn't tell the difference between Brad and his twin Chad (totally forgot about that).

Jamie: Ben's season 

First impressions: Awkward kisser...that's all we need to know. Again, probably the wrong show to be on.

Erica Rose: Lorenzo's season 

First impressions: Finally someone to have fun watching, who will make the show actually watchable. She's hoping for a more positive experience this time around. She doesn't want to see Kalon because she went to the tabloids about him and he wasn't too happy. Drama before entering the house is always a plus.

I'm absolutely hating the twist of having fans on the show. WHAT IS THE POINT? The show is Bachelor Pad, it's for people who were on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette, not people who WATCH the show.

Annoying Fans:

David 

Chris (aka “SWAT”)

Paige

Donna 

Brittany and Erica - twins tied at the hip, playing as 1 person; worst nightmare: waking up next to Kalon, ha!