The promos are "suggesting" that Clint and JJ have um...sort of...fallen in love with (not Kaitlyn) each other. Crazy, right?! Believable? Not really. If RealitySteve has taught us nothing else, it is that the show, and the promos, are highly edited. Edited so much so that sentences can be broken up from conversations that took place in different places and different times, and then put together in order to portray something that didn't actually happen. That's what has happened here. This was RealitySteve's take on the situation:
"Now, lets (sic) get to the good stuff: Since we never got an episode preview at the end of Monday’s episode, promos for next week started running. If you haven’t seen by now, they are teasing the Clint/JJ bromance to “Brokeback Mountain” level proportions. I think you all have seen enough promos to this show to realize how highly edited and snipped that promo is. Watch it real closely. No, Clint is not in love with JJ, and no Clint is not falling in love with another man. I’m amazed at how many of you have emailed and tweeted at me since yesterday thinking that’s what happened. C’mon. Really?"
I also read a very interesting article on realityblurred.com that broke down the promo and pulled apart what was clearly more than one interview spliced together. Read the article here.
Now that that's out of the way and we all know what to expect, let's get onto tonight's episode!
Kupah's Meltdown, continued...
If you remember from last week, Kaitlyn had just dumped Kupah because he was being an idiot. Then he started going off on the camera and Kaitlyn could hear him from inside. She came out to try to settle him down. She told him that nothing was going to change and he was making everything uncomfortable for everyone. Again, this was all his fault because she actually liked him until he said she wasn't trying hard enough to get to know her...when he didn't talk to her at all on their group date.
Then he starts whispering to the camera like an idiot and he said he didn't even like her now and something about her having chlamydia...what?! Good riddance.
2nd Rose Ceremony, continued...
Eliminated (2): Cory, Daniel
Remaining Guys (16): Ben H, Ben Z, Chris, Clint, Corey, Ian, Jared, JJ, Joe, Jonathan, Joshua, Justin, Ryan, Shawn, Tanner, Tony
Group Date #1: Sumo Wrestling
Chris, Clint, JJ, Joe, Shawn, Tony
The guys are awakened by big sumo wrestlers banging gongs in their bedroom. The guys have to put on the traditional sumo uniform. Their reactions to them were pretty funny. Joe said it looked like a giant hose like what a fireman would use. Let's just say there was a lot of censoring going on when they pulled off their robes.
So, I guess this date is just going to take place in the driveway outside of the mansion? The rest of the guys not on the date were all gathered around watching. Poor Joe was showing off a bit more of himself than he would have liked.
Each of the guys was to go up against one of the pros...and it wasn't pretty. They stood no chance, as they were easily outweighed by about 400 pounds.
Tony, of course, was weird about the whole thing. He was making weird noises the whole time. After he wrestled, Kaitlyn knew something was wrong, so she tried to talk to him, and he just kept walking and ignored her. Finally, he turned around and he said he wished he didn't have to do that -- show aggression. He said he is a peace-loving guy and would have rather done something peaceful. She told him he didn't have to do it. He said he was here for her and wants her to see the multiple sides of him. He sees the world as a child. He has a "heart of a warrior on the inside and with the spirit of a gypsy". Here he goes again, just rambling...Kaitlyn was listening, but you could see that she was kind of over his attitude. She doesn't hide her feelings very well, it totally shows all over her face exactly how she is feeling. She said this wasn't about showing aggression, it was about being silly doing something they wouldn't normally do, and that they could all laugh at themselves about and then have more serious conversations again later. He said that's fine, but there are other ways of connecting with someone than through aggression. Here's another guy just talking himself on his way out the door.
Ooh, and it's not over yet folks! The guys see Tony talking to Kaitlyn, and they see that she is getting a little upset, so they yelled over at Tony that this was supposed to be fun. The ring leader was, no surprise, JJ and his big mouth. He got Tony all worked up because he interrupted his private conversation with Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn tried to put JJ in his place and break up the impending fight, as did some of the other guys. They said that Tony is nuts, but JJ had no reason to go over there and make things worse. Tony just whined that JJ was out of line.
Tony continued to be all serious and went in the house pushing things around and throwing open the windows. Kaitlyn again felt bad about how the date was going. She had to go out of her way to make sure that sensitive Tony was OK instead of spending time with the guys. Luckily Ian was also there to try to smooth things over and help Tony be OK and he told him that the way he was demonstrating his feelings needed to be dialed back. Tony said "I have worked very hard in my advancement emotionally, spiritually, physically, and I can't find happiness reverting back to my primal instincts." She told him that if he needed to sit out today that she wouldn't judge him for it.
So, the next part of the date was an exhibition of their sumo skills in front of a ton of people. She hoped Tony would show up, but he did not. She was like "oh well", we'll have fun and there are "no winners today". That sounded kind of wrong...wouldn't it be nicer to say that there wouldn't be any losers?
To start things off, Kaitlyn showed off her stuff against the big guy pro who moved his boob muscles at her and made her squeal even before they got started. He let her off easy and let her push him out of the ring.
Round 1: JJ vs Joe -- Winner: Joe
Round 2: Joe vs. Clint -- Winner: Clint (he played rough!)
...and that's all we get to see...too much Tony drama I guess...
Meanwhile, back at the house, Tony whined to Jonathan about why they couldn't go to the zoo and see who can make the best animal noises instead. He's had enough. He left a note, packed his bags, and left. He said he did everything he could, more than any of the other guys, but he couldn't do it anymore. Then he said one of the most hilarious things: "I'm not a quitter, I'm leaving on my own terms." Dude...that is EXACTLY the same as quitting! He wanted to say goodbye in person, so he met up with Kaitlyn at the hotel they were at and awkwardly was holding this tiny little white flower as he gazed at her creepily. He told her that he was there for the right reasons, but he couldn't be a part of the circus anymore. He said if she wants to really get to know him...he's easily found. Yeah, I don't see that happening.
While Kaitlyn was chatting and smooching with Chris (who, by the way, I still love...one of my favorites), Clint and JJ are on the couch chatting. JJ said she looks amazing in leather pants and he can't wait to get some alone time with her. Clint said he thinks that he's just going to hang back tonight (said no bachelor ever). JJ looked at him weird and said, I don't think you should do that. In an ITM, Clint said that he feels like if Kaitlyn really liked him and wanted to talk to him tonight that she would make a little bit of an effort. What?! What is with these guys? That is exactly what Kupah said. In no season ever do the contestants ever just sit back and make the lead come talk to them. They always fight for their time because if they don't, they are forgotten and they go home. This is all so strange!
So Kaitlyn comes and joins them all on the couches. She purposely (and you can tell by the way she did it), sat down right next to Clint. He looked the other way, and everyone was silent, She waited, and waited, and nothing. So, Shawn took the opportunity to steal her away. JJ has no idea what Clint is doing. I'm starting to see where this is going, and why he's not going to make it past this date. And remember, he was just on a one-on-one date last week and got a rose, so normally, he would be pretty guaranteed to get a rose this week.
Kaitlyn comes back, grabs the rose, and takes it back to Shawn. Clint said she had plenty of time to talk to him and she didn't. Kaitlyn noticed that he didn't make an effort. In front of everyone, she tells Clint that he disappointed her because they went on a one-on-one date and he ignored her all day...so that's a problem. Ouch!
Side note...I don't think I've EVER typed that big of a summary about one date before! There's still 2 dates left!
One-on-One #2: Ben Z
Kaitlyn gets a note from Chris Harrison saying that he planned the date for her. She didn't even know who it was until she showed up at the house.
This date will be right up Kaitlyn's alley, apparently, judging by her other dates. This is a Fear Factor/haunted house date. They will be trapped and have to work together to get a code in order to get back out. Inside, it's all dark. She opened the door and birds flew out at them (she actually has a fear of birds)! She was genuinely terrified and not so sure she wanted to do it. Ben was very comforting. He held her and talked her through her feelings. He told her he would go look first and he wouldn't let go of her hand.
Once inside, it looked like there was blood everywhere. It looked like something right out of the Saw movies. A voice tells them they have 45 minutes to figure out the code for the computer or a gas chamber is going to start leaking. She is being absolutely no help. He found a partial picture of Britt with the number 41 on the back. Oh man, something just crawled out of that bed...there's a scorpion in the drawer, and now there's maggots! Yeah, I would be out of there!
They keep trying different combinations on the computer, but it's still not working. Oh now...now there's snakes and they are everywhere! Yikes! This is seriously the grossest date ever! That was his weakness...he doesn't like snakes. But, he was a total man, and he reached over the snake that was laying across the disgusting toilet and grabbed the clue out of the toilet bowl (who came up with this idea?). She said the birds scared her way more than that...his response was "we're on different levels". If she was OK with the snakes, SHE should have reached her hand in the nastiness instead of making him do it!
And, just in the nick of time, they have the combination, and as the gas starts coming in, they make their way out. That was definitely a bonding experience. And I still like Ben Z :)
After that craziness, they got a chance to settle down and have some serious conversation. He talked about being an emotional guy, and being the protector, which comes from losing his mom. He said the only regret he has in his life is not crying on the day his mom died. He said he hasn't cried in 11 years.
Obviously, he got the date rose.
Group Date #2: Visit a school, teach sex ed
Ben H, Jared, Jonathan, Joshua, Ryan, Tanner
These poor guys...what is Kaitlyn doing to them! They even have to ride a school bus to the school. She tells them that they are going to be substituting in an elementary school classroom. They all have a locker that has their lesson plans in it. Each of them has something a little different. Joshua's box has a tampon in it, and his response was "I thinking I'm missing certain anatomy." He then said that he kind of learned everything he needed to know about sex by watching his cows. Oh my...
Ryan - anatomy
He had a prop that he had to try to point out all the correct parts. Poor guy...he got asked some really embarrassing questions.
Jonathan - not sure what his topic was, but he took a lot of questions
He got asked about the "4 bases" and "how many positions are there" and "what is a wet dream".
Tanner - condoms
He had the banana and the condom, and a kid shouts out "yummy!" He said that was not the right reaction, lol!
Joshua - female puberty
He said that the lining of the girls' uterus is going to shed and it's going to die. Oh my! His face was getting as read as his flannel shirt! He said the tampon was like a torpedo.
Ben H - reproduction
Seriously, how cute is he?! Love him! He started out with a mommy/daddy story. He said his favorite is coming in a limo and walking awkwardly to the girl he likes. He handled the story like a pro...his story was awesome. He used Kaitlyn in his demonstration, and acted out the sperm and the egg, but it was somehow still so cute! He's clearly the only guy you would let near your children to explain something like this. Even the rest of the guys knew he was winning some serious brownie points.
So, what the guys don't know is that she is totally pranking them and that the kids are all child actors. Whew! Thank goodness! If this was not a joke, there could be some very confused and scarred little kids!
At the evening part of the date, Joshua had some alone time. He told her that was the most embarrassed he had ever been. He said he had his first kiss in college. That helped her make sense of why things were moving so slowly. She said he's really going to have to pick up the pace because she is making deeper relationships with other people.
Ben H is falling hard for Kaitlyn. He said that he feels like she is his girlfriend. He pulled off some nice kissing moves, and Kaitlyn said that he has really moved to a level that she couldn't describe.
She couldn't wait to spend time with Jared and has wanted to ever since the boxing date when she didn't get a chance to. She said that his black eye was so sexy and that it was going away and she almost wanted to punch him again. They are really cute together. I just wish he would do something about that weird patchy facial hair! That's all I can see when I look at him!
Ben got the group date rose. She gave it out in front of everyone..awkward. Way to put a bullseye on his back Kaitlyn.
Back at the house, the bromance between JJ and Clint is in bloom. They do everything together. There are definitely some weird things happening there...Clint said that he has connected with JJ more than he as with Kaitlyn at this point. All the guys notice that they have segregated themselves from the rest of the house. They seem to have let their egos get away with them and are not really there to make a connection with Kaitlyn. Clint said in the back of his mind he knew she wasn't the right girl for him, but he loves JJ. He said JJ has made his time in the house "insanely enjoyable" (whatever that means).
Cocktail Party
Clint immediately pulled Kaitlyn aside to talk. She was happy to see him make the move. He said that in the sumo date that the guy must have grabbed him too many times down there and "they" got lodged up inside him. Then he didn't have enough balls to come talk to her at all on the date, He apologized for letting his insecurities causing him to put up a wall. He was questioning if what was going on was really real. She asked him what he thought about getting an early one-on-one and the great conversations that they had and the chemistry. He said he felt that was real and that he put himself out there and that scared him. She said him pulling away really worried her, but with this conversation he was really redeeming himself. They kissed, and he said in an ITM that he was wearing his "power socks" and he felt like he had the power so he felt like he needed to abuse it. OK, dude, seriously?! What a douche! He said he wasn't really interested in her, but he needed the rose tonight. He wanted to fight for the rose to stay there to be with...JJ. Are you serious?! I know it's not a sexual thing with them, but it is really weird, nonetheless. Clint made a comment about them catching snakes and that Kaitlyn is smart enough to know and see who JJ is. Clint said something about "villain's gotta vill". They were out to catch the tattletales I guess. Ian kind of mentioned something to Kaitlyn, and Jared mentioned something. Nothing specific, just that there are some guys that are just sour apples and some are not here for the right reasons. JJ said that they are all just lemmings...falling off the cliff...because he's chasing them. He said that they are amateurs and if they want to try to sabotage things they should come to him and he would give them some lessons.
Joshua comes right out and says that Clint and JJ are both two-faced. Kaitlyn just nods as if this is not any new news and that she has somehow thought this all along. He said that they are trying to fool 13 guys but they all see the same thing. He said they were both good guys and then a switch flipped. She asked if it was when they got roses, and he said yes, it was like within an hour. She said that he was not the first guy to say those names (she says it was all 13 of the other guys), and boy did he look relieved to not be the only tattletale. She asked if there was anything else she needed to know about Clint before she went and took care of the situation. She said he is never going to see him again, so if there was anything else, she wanted to know. I sure hope she goes after JJ too because this is not just a JJ problem.
Clint is talking to the guys and he said he feels good and knows he's going to get a rose after the conversation that they had. Little does he know, but she is a little tornado and she is heading right for his trailer park. This isn't going to be pretty.
And again, the show is "to be continued" right before the good stuff...
I really, really hate this trend that they have started by carrying over the Rose Ceremonies o the next episode.
One last thing for tonight...now that tonight's episode is over, head on over to Lifetime. A groundbreaking new series (scripted) called UnReal is pulling back the curtain on our beloved Bachelor and Bachelorette (and similar reality shows). We will now be shown exactly what it's like behind the scenes. All of those things that RealitySteve has been telling us for years...this is as close to seeing what actually happens on these shows as we will ever get. RealitySteve has previewed the series and said it is pretty clear from what he's heard from his sources and former contestants. The show will air Mondays at 10:00 on Lifetime.
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